Good morning everyone! Today I decided to share some things that I learned when we went from having one to two kids. With baby #3 arrival right on the horizon, it has just brought back all the feels again. Last night I found myself having similar concerns as I did when we were about to add my son to our family of three.

I am SO extremely fortunate that I am able to be at home with my kiddos, having left my career in the professional world right after my son was born. Balancing being a working mom and sending our daughter to daycare everyday to being at home all the time with TWO kids was definitely another huge transitional element to throw in the mix at least for me personally. Some of these might pertain to most of you, but these were my initial reservations and worries about how my daughter would handle all the new in her little life!

MY EXPECTATIONS

I was worried that she would feel neglected and not as loved

I was worried I would miss little things happening in her life because I would be distracted caring for a newborn

I felt guilty removing her from a daycare that she loved and from the friends she had made

I was unsure how being at home would contribute to her intellectual growth and routine

I was worried about taking on my new role as a stay at home Mom, how to keep busy and how to maintain a structured household

My kids are a little over 2 years apart. That honestly did make things a little bit easier. My daughter was starting to become a little more independent and could understand requests or instructions given to her. I do feel my husband and I liked to challenge her from that perspective and would push her to be able to do certain age appropriate things on her own.

Things I did to promote a smooth transition

• We made an effort to always ask Audrey if she was excited to be a big sister. We would also set the tone that we couldn’t wait to see what a huge helper she would be and asked her what she would love to help out with. Our goal was to make sure she felt as involved and important as possible.
  
  As mentioned up above, I was worried about her not feeling as loved as much, but my mom had told me she felt the same way when she was younger and that my Grandma told her that your heart doesn’t need to share love, it just gets bigger and fills up with more love”. So sweet…and something I needed to remind myself. We always made sure to tell her we loved her very much and have her included in all the little things we would be doing for my son.
  
• My pediatrician had an awesome suggestion for me at my daughters 18 month appointment. First off, she told me to make sure we said goodbye to her before heading off to the hospital  to give birth, no matter what time of day, it was so she wasn’t freaked out (particularly in the morning when Mom and Dad were gone, especially for a couple days!). Secondly, she told me to make sure Audrey had a gift to bring to give to JP so she felt important! I am so happy she mentioned that because it was a super sweet exchange!
  
• I did A LOT of research (Pinterest, other Mom blogs and articles) to prepare and  freshen up my skills on caring for a newborn and what to expect. I looked at a lot of sample schedules/routines and toddler activities that other Moms were doing and also looked up tips on what to expect on being a Stay at Home Mom. This helped relieve any stress or anxiety I was having about being at home all the time
  
• We kept my daughter in daycare for a couple weeks after JP was born – this actually allowed me to get into a better routine and it made me feel better to have her slowly transition out from being in that environment with her friends to being at home with me. On her last week, I started to pick her up earlier and earlier, and it really did make it easier when she knew what to expect instead of pulling her out cold turkey. I also kept some of the sample schedules and meal calendars from the daycare to implement at home.

THE REALITY AND WHAT I LEARNED

So with it now being a solid two years later, I would love to share with you the things that worked and how the reservations I listed above were debunked when adding a second child to your family. I will save my stay at home mom tips for a rainy day (that can be a whole post in of itself), but here are some helpful tips to assist you with the transition of having two kids:

Audrey loves being a big sister and loved when I would ask her to help. It made her feel so important and she was super enthusiastic about doing anything I asked (she still is to this day!)

Whether it was asking if she could bring me a toy, burp cloth, blanket or diapers – I made sure to include her from that aspect and praise her when she helped me out. Having a toddler around actually made things a lot easier!  Sometimes I would find myself unable to move or grab something, particularly when I would be breastfeeding and her extra set of little hands was amazing! Speaking of feeding…

…Keep your toddler near during feeding times

I would always ask Audrey to come sit by me quietly while I feed her baby brother. Sometimes we would read a story, other times I would have toys set out for her to play with or she would just lay on the floor right by the rocking chair quietly. As much as JP and I were connecting through breastfeeding, I loved the little conversations my daughter and I would have during these quiet moments.

Do all errands on weekends or when your spouse is around

At least for the first couple months until there was a set routine and I was more comfortable with taking both kiddos out, we would do our errands as a team. This wasn’t too difficult of an adjustment of me because when I was working I was shopping on weekends anyway! Now there are so many awesome grocery pick up services, 2-day shipping services with Amazon, Walmart and Target – it is way easier to get things (especially baby essentials like diapers, wipes, formula, medicine) delivered right to your door. With that being said, I did like to get out of the house, so once I was more comfortable trips to the stores were more frequent during the week.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or have family take your toddler for the day

I always felt like I would be inconveniencing people, but honestly, people love to help and I was fortunate enough to have family members who always ask what they could do. One of my mom guilt’s was if Audrey would be sitting around at home and I felt NOT FUN. So one of the ways I would feel better about myself and Audrey’s well-being was if she would go spend the day at her Grandparents or Aunt/Uncles house! She loved just getting out and about and this was also a great time to catch up on some much needed ZZZzzz’s.

SET A ROUTINE!

This should honestly be #1, I cannot stress ENOUGH the importance of a routine! When I was on maternity with Audrey, my routine was okay, but there were so many things I was missing from a sleeping and feeding cue perspective. I wasn’t responding to the proper needs simply because I was unaware.

The research I did prior to JP arriving suggested following the same feeding and sleeping structure all day. Many of the articles I read suggested feeding baby strictly every 2-3 hours throughout the day and following a sleeping schedule of every 60-90 minutes. It also made me more aware of sleeping and hunger cues. This helped me BIG time!

We fell into an awesome routine as he grew and he literally was like clockwork in terms of when he would eat and sleep. I couldn’t believe how difficult I had made things for myself when Audrey was a newborn! I remember telling people that life would have felt like a breeze had I known the importance of routine and just having one child to deal with at the time!

The feeding and sleeping routine we followed allowed me to make more time for the next tip…

Make one-on-one time happen with your toddler (particularly when baby is napping)

Looking back, it is amazing the amount of time newborns sleep, with that being said, you are exhausted from feeding constantly and caring for little humans, but I tried to do a fun/special activity whether it was going outside, baking, having a snack together or painting/coloring during the mid-morning  and mid-afternoon naps. As soon as I stayed home with my daughter, she stopped taking afternoon naps (go figure) so I had no time to rest really! TV and games on the iPad were extremely helpful during some afternoons and though I felt guilty at times, I kept reminding myself that I also needed time to relax and recharge.

I did also adjust my “free time” schedule and would try to do random chores around the house if I was able (and would try not to get worked up if I didn’t get something completed) before my daughter woke up in the morning. I also tried to do things in the evening when my husband got home from work—normally, he would take my daughter outside or play with her while I prepped dinner or tidied up. It was also a nice time for them to bond as well.

Siblings make the best of friends

I have absolutely loved watching my daughter and son grow, learn and play together! It makes me so happy that they have each other every day and I can’t believe I was ever worried! Having them both is such a blessing and yes, at times they can butt heads and be a pain, but overall any worries or annoyances are gone the second I listen to the cute little conversations they have with one another!

I am very excited for our new baby boy to arrive and anxious to see how the transition from two to three kids will be! I hope these tips are helpful for any new moms or a “multiples” moms-to-be! Would also love to hear from you, how did you handle this transition and is there something that worked for you?

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