Six Years of Wedded Bliss! - Lisa's Two Cents

This weekend, my husband and I celebrated our six year wedding anniversary! That seems wild that our wedding day was SIX years ago! Fast forward 3 kids, 2 homes and a whole lot in between, I want to thank my husband for being the most incredible man/partner in crime ever!

Today, I figured I would share 6 things we’ve learned these past 6 years of marriage! While we’ve known each other since grade school, there are still new things you discover as a couple and a parent.

Teamwork makes the Dream work

Kids add A LOT to a marriage – sometimes in ways that can strain your relationship. We’ve had so many fights where the scorecard comes out and we start pointing fingers at one another. Recognizing that parenthood and marriage are something we have to tag team together is so important in being a successful spouse and parent. Just as in sports, it is extremely important to work as a unit so no one person is doing it solo – which could wear on a person and add stress to a relationship.

Keep it light

This is one thing I do love about our marriage. We laugh at ourselves A LOT and don’t take things too seriously! Part of it, I attribute to us having known each other for nearly 20 years. My husband’s humor and the banter we would give each other was honestly what drew us together when we started out as friends!

We love laughing at silly things and humor/humility keep our relationship super strong! Yes, there our times we get defensive, but being able to laugh it off (sometimes it takes a little time to get to that point if it insulted the person) is something that has been so great for our relationship because we don’t get too worked up over petty stuff!

Communication is KEY!

For as much as we are great at expressing and communicating our feelings – we are also SO TERRIBLE at it. Does that even make sense?! To me, here is where we fail at communicating – it’s instances where we assume we do not need to communicate and expect our spouse to be a mind reader knowing exactly what we are thinking. So many bigger fights stem from lack of communication.

I’ve even heard from friends so many of their fights occur by brushing things under the rug because they don’t feel like opening up to their significant other. Those issues then bottle up and the other person in the relationship is completely blindsided by all the emotions when an argument erupts or one person hits their boiling point!

To me, opening up, getting it out, talking about it and resolving/forgiving as quickly as possible are HUGE! The more things fester, the more time your sulking, the more anger and bad things seem to pile up! Listening and understanding what your spouse is wanting/needing from you will help improve your relationship in the long run.

Make time together a priority!

This is something we’ve worked hard on the past year to try and do. With kids, it makes it difficult to do whatever you want, when you want as a couple. It doesn’t have to be super over the top date nights, we started by watching a TV series together, in the summer, occasionally we would wake up early and sit and have coffee outside for a good 45 minutes (my husband is not an early bird so this wasn’t as consistent as we would have liked! ha!), simple things like that. Spending that uninterrupted time together is extremely important for us and you’ll see why below…

Find out your Love Language

As I mentioned above, though we have known each other and been in a relationship with one another starting at a young age, there are still things we continue to learn about each other. There are certain needs your spouse may not even realize you need because you may not even know it about yourself!

We’ve heard about the “5 Love Languages” and how important it is for you and your spouse to understand how to give and receive love. The five languages are broken down as follows: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.

We took the quiz a while back and it was helpful for us to understand one another a little better. For example, our primary love languages are fortunately the same – Quality Time and a close 2nd/3rd are Acts of Service then Words of Affirmation. Knowing these love languages are helpful for us to understand each other a little more and know how to make that person happy!

Know your spouse’s “triggers”

This is something we continue to improve on. In fact, a couple months ago, we had a BIG discussion regarding this after a fight that was blown completely out of control. Knowing your spouse’s “triggers” are important when it comes to arguments. We’ve found there are certain “trigger words” or phrases that can escalate an issue from moderate to severe instantly! Just like the love languages, arguing tactics can differ between you and your spouse so finding ways to avoid those triggers (which is hard to do when you are fighting) that will set off your spouse are extremely important to recognize and can save a lot of fights from hurtful words being said for no reason other than to further yourselves from a resolution!

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